He should write something which would be in style with William Shatner's "Get A Life" speech, but much more extreme. A total annihilation of SF fandom, a kill 'em all.

He would of course have to do away with us here as well, but I'm sure that I speak for all when I say we can take it.

The story could begin with an inverted prize contest. All contestants but one win a chartered trip to the planet Tatterdemaleon on an incredibly huge luxury space ferry. All expenses paid. (Yeah, you wish, suckers...)

And then something bad happens to the spaceship. The prize winners get sold as slaves, alternatively get cooked and canned, or have their brains altered with, etc etc.

Which leads us to the single non-winner, a sloppy overweight unsound mind in an unsound body, very much resembling Michael Moore. He's sent out to investigate and reaches the conclusion that the prize winners would have fared better had they been constitutionally armed...

Well, anyhow, the Earth emperor Branche uses the situation as an excuse to attack planetary systems he wants to include into his empire for the sake of economic exploitation.

And so the story goes...