ah doant want tuh tell ewe yore bidness mr. haid speshly seein as how yore jist a mat tetchy bowt lissenin tuh a fellers advass but ennyhow at air drame of yorn put me in man of thish yar feller ah yooster no name of no-neck kinkade coarse no-neck warnt his givvin name but ah caint wreckaleck his givvin name nowaze an of coarse evverbawdy rown abowts allus jis cawlt him no-neck cozzen his haid lookt jis lack hit had bin stuck rat down on his showders he didden ware nuthin but tay shirts cozzen utherwaz thuh kollers ud stick up unner his airs an his air loabs wood stan out strate lack a cupple of little wangs

ennyway whut ah startid tuh say wuz thet ole no-neck yooster go fishin kwat a bit down at the crick an heed purty much allus brang him back a mess of catfish but he toal me wun day he sed cotton yuh dern fool ah wood lack tuh ketch me a bass wun of thezhe yar daze cozzen ah lack the tace of bass but ah caint ketch me nuthin seppin thezhe yar catfish an ah am groan kanly tarred of the way they tace an now ah no thet moas fokes rown hyarbowts thank ewe aint nuthin but a durned fool but ah halve hyeerd that ewe kin ketch yoreseff a mess of bass hwin yur of a mand tuh dew it so ah wood shore preeshee ate it iffen ewe wood giv me sum advass on that subjeck

soze ah lookt at his poal an ah lookt at his bait an ah sed no-neck hit looks tuh me lack ewe aint fishin with nuthin but stank bait an no-neck loud as how thet wuz awl he evver yoozed fer fishin an ah sed well no-neck aint no bass gonner bat on at air stank bait an he sed well he lacked tuh yooze stank bait an hit wuz a good bait as fer as he wuz consarned soze ah sed to im ah said no-neck iffen yuh kaip a ketchin the same thang oaver an oaver agin mebbe yuh ott tuh kunsider chanjin yore bait an iffen yuh woant change fum stank bait mebbe hit sez sumthin bowt chew yoreseff an then ah wockt away an ah wreckin that ole no-neck kepp on a yoozin stank bait an ketchin nuthin but catfish

so what ah am a hoapin tuh say mr. haid is that iffen yore allus brangin up em air fungs haids whatsumever thay mat be well mebbe ewe ott tuh yooze sum differnt bait an iffen ewe woant yooze no differnt bait mebbe ewe ott tuh thank bowt maykin a chanje